What to do if a child asks for a pet?

[Ezheni]

If your child asks to get a hamster, a guinea pig, a rabbit, a cat or a puppy, this article is for you.

There are sweeties with big expressive eyes as if they looked straight inside of your soul. They are easily moved to tears and at every trifle they shed floods of them. They love and feel sorry about everyone and anything: animals, plants and toys. They are opened, sincere, communicative and emotional, afraid of darkness, ask you to be with them while they falling asleep with lights on.

Not every child behaves like that. If the description above reminds you of your child without a doubt it has the visual vector.

What does it mean? How to raise such a child? What mistakes can be avoided?

The most important in development of such child is emotional connection with their mother. If it is absent, a child creates it with a teddy bear and later asks for a pet.



The very visual child asks to buy him a pet. It is impossible to refuse, it can help to develop an ability to be compassionate and responsible and there are less chances of distracting his mother - we can think up a lot of satisfactory arguments to justify a purchase of a pet.

The child will be happy. He will love his friend and take care of it truly. Why is it not good then? Why is it dangerous?

Small animals don't live long. So a child starts loving a hamster and it dies suddenly! Emotional connection rupture is catastrophic for a visual child. Stressful conditions switch a protective mechanism that is not psychic but physiological. When something causes them suffering they subconsciously refuse their qualities that caused the suffering. Close friend loss is a severe blow for a sense organ that inevitably causes a few diopters eyesight deterioration. It is observed that there is a direct connection between the strength of emotional connection and the degree of child's defenselessness. A child who developed up to the level when he is able to love people, he won't go blind because his emotional connection with people is stronger than with animals.

Doctors can't find the exact reason why eyesight worsens. Parents can think that it can be over studying at school, computers or TV. In spite of the fact that they remove the reason, eyesight continues going bad. How do we avoid this?

Visual child development means development of their sensitivity. Fear is a primary emotion of a visual child. Their imagination is capable to horrify them when envisioning a spider. There is a need to turn fear inside out by means of reading good books and teaching him to sympathize with their characters. That way, fear turns inside out into sympathy when they are scared not for themselves. The earlier child learns how to read the better. Literature has to be of a good quality, not scary fairy tales and where main characters are animals but people. Books have to teach him to be sympathetic.

A transition from fear to sympathy and love is the peak of visual vector development. Such a person is beautiful!



Perhaps you heard of people who have extreme love for animals and they have 20-30 cats in their apartment or feed strays on the street. These kind of people neither experience love for people or sympathize them. At some point their development stopped on the level of pity towards animals and they continue clinging to emotional connection with them. Pity towards animals is not bad at all. It is pity that they have never developed their qualities to love a man though.

What are underdeveloped visual people? They are hysteric individuals who are afraid of their own shadow. They are followers of esoteric sects and theories, like going to fortune-tellers and astrologists. They are adults who can't say goodbyes to their teddy bears and love horror-films or some other sources of emotions. Finally, they are potential victims of criminals and murderers. Fear living inside of them doesn't let them live.

We invite you to attend Vector Systems Psychology training presented by Yuri Burlan. From the very beginning of it (three free lectures) people start understand the depth and accuracy of information given on it.

The article is based on the materials of Yuri Burlan’s vector systems psychology trainings.

Original text author: Marina Murina, architect
Translated by: Yevgeniya Chistyakova

[Dina]

When I have been asked by some patients what pet is better to get for the child, my answer is – no pet. The best way to help children to become sensitive, sympathy is to learn how to love people, to take care of relatives, not of pets. Parents have to create emotional communications with their children. Then they will not need to find an additional object for love and attachment.

[Анастасия М.]

When I have been asked by some patients what pet is better to get for the child, my answer is – no pet. The best way to help children to become sensitive, sympathy is to learn how to love people, to take care of relatives, not of pets. Parents have to create emotional communications with their children. Then they will not need to find an additional object for love and attachment.

Understanding all this, I use the "pet issue" like some kind of a guide, a point of orientation. If my daughter doesn't ask me to get a pet then whew I a have a proof that our emotional tie is strong enough. And I know what else might warn me and make me undertake some measures - the things like her getting too attached to any toy or her unwillingness to stay without me for a while... Thank goodness, nothing like that ever happened with us yet) Strange how it all seems quite obvious even without systemic analysis, but still it is the training that helps to put two and two together and track down such kinds of correlation.

[R.Toma]

Do you know what is interesting? Lots of people think you are without heart if you say to them, that don't need to buy any pets... Because they are sure if their children have a dog, cat, or a hamster, that help them to grow as the worthy/ kind person.

[AnastasiaAU]

Means the emotional connection with parents is not enough for him....

[Елена Ясенева]

When I was a child I asked to buy me a parrot.
As you might imagine, it dead. It was really hard, I was really sorry.
But later when the second one also died I felt nothing.
A child does not ready to understand what dead means.

[lazole]

When I have been asked by some patients what pet is better to get for the child, my answer is – no pet. The best way to help children to become sensitive, sympathy is to learn how to love people, to take care of relatives, not of pets. Parents have to create emotional communications with their children. Then they will not need to find an additional object for love and attachment.

Understanding all this, I use the "pet issue" like some kind of a guide, a point of orientation. If my daughter doesn't ask me to get a pet then whew I a have a proof that our emotional tie is strong enough. And I know what else might warn me and make me undertake some measures - the things like her getting too attached to any toy or her unwillingness to stay without me for a while... Thank goodness, nothing like that ever happened with us yet) Strange how it all seems quite obvious even without systemic analysis, but still it is the training that helps to put two and two together and track down such kinds of correlation.

Anastasia, my daughter doesn't ask for a pet and isn't attached to toys and can stay without me since she was 1,5. Now she's 4. She is attached to me. But even after the training which helped me greatly I still feel emotionally worn out after spending time with her. I am a deep introvert. And her high temperament and whirligig of emotions have always been scaring me. She only gets enought when there are about three adult people around her or more. But in everyday life it's just me. May be I need to take the first level of the training more time.

[Madina]

I have living example.

My cousin has three daughters.
Two of them are still at school.
So about two years ago the middle daughter asked for a per. Her father bought her a small dog and mom (my cousin) agreed to keep it at home eventhough she has allergy for pets and is not in such a love with them.
So in about half a year or in a year she was completely tired of a dog or i dont know exact reason but they gave the dog to soembody.
The daughter was about 13-14 that time. she felt very hurt by her mom. Now she is about 16. they have very difficult relations. Daughter doesnt respect mother, mother has no any authority.

Later the younger daughter asked for a pet. Mom agreed even that time. It was half a year ago. Within a month they gave the dog back. Mom couldnt withstand the dog.
Now her younger daughter is wearing glasses...

No comments...

[Анастасия М.]

Now she's 4. She is attached to me. But even after the training which helped me greatly I still feel emotionally worn out after spending time with her. I am a deep introvert. And her high temperament and whirligig of emotions have always been scaring me. She only gets enough when there are about three adult people around her or more. But in everyday life it's just me. May be I need to take the first level of the training more time.

I really understand how tough it can be. Mine is also 4. I have come to conclusion, that what we need (audial mothers that is) is a well-considered compromise. So I let my daughter watch cartoons. A lot. No matter that this is like a red flag to a bull in all the good-mothers-communities)) Back off, this is my way to keep me sane! This is a wee bit of free time for me. But once I do it, I make sure that she gets enough time with me, when I'm really with her and nowhere else. I do my best concentrating on what we do together, with no peeping to my phone or wandering in my thoughts. So far, it works. But she's not a real introvert, actually, she's got both audial and visual vectors. At this age even audial children are very expressive and emotional, but I've no idea how would I survive if she was a true extrovert)
What are your ways to keep on track?

[Лия Тимофеева]

I didn't have any Pets. And now I realize that it was good for me.